Valerie Bertinelli is healing -- but having a great time while she's at it. The actress and cookbook author opens up about working through her childhood trauma and the impact it's having on her love life.
"The business can really mess with a child's head," she tells Drew Barrymore on Monday's episode of The Drew Barrymore Show. "I'm going back to the childhood stuff and working on that."
Bertinelli was 15 when she rocketed to stardom on One Day at a Time. It's a situation that Barrymore can relate to, as she was just seven years old when E.T. was released.
On Monday's show, the women bond over the shared journey of processing that experience into adulthood.
"I can't just blame my ex-husband for a toxic, horrible marriage," Bertinelli says. "It's not his fault. What led me to that? Oh, childhood! That's the stuff I got to start working on."
She adds, "I've found that when my gratitude is really placed in even the challenging, hard times, that's when the growth really happens."
The Hot in Cleveland alum, now 63, was married to financial planner Tom Vitale from 2011-2022. At the time their divorce was made official, Bertinelli called it the "second best day" of her life.
Then, in February, she posted a video reflecting on her outlook since the split, saying, "I am over it. I'm over the narcissist. I'm long over the narcissist. What I’m working on is, what made me tolerate the intolerable?"
Drew Barrymore and Ross Mathews pose with 'The Drew Barrymore Show' guest Valerie Bertinelli.
On Monday, Bertinelli can't help but gush about her "hot" new boyfriend, revealing that he is 10 years her junior.
"I was not going to date. I was going to die alone with my six cats and my dog and be very happy alone," she jokes. "He was not supposed to come into my life and here he is, he's 10 years younger."
She continues, "He's amazing. He would like to think he's complicated and brooding, but he's thoughtful and kind and ridiculously talented. He's an amazing writer. He's gorgeous, like, so hot. He does it for me."
Bertinelli admits that her beau was on hand for the taping, showing his support backstage. She also shared new details about how they first came to meet.
"I actually started following him on Twitter back in 2016 or 17," she shares. "He has a really amazing Twitter following. He's very funny, very acerbic, and political at that time."
The star says that she "got little butterflies" at the time, but that her future love didn't follow her back for about two years.
"And then he started DMing me once in a while, and then started following my Instagram account," she recalls. "Then he would just DM once in a while, just like sweet, little, nice comments. Nothing pushy... like really friendly. He didn't want to get involved with anybody either."
After their chats escalated from DMs, to texts, to phone calls and FaceTiming, they eventually made a plan to connect in person.
"I met him in New York a month ago and I'm just gone," Bertinelli gushes.
Valerie Bertinelli attends the 2024 Oscars with her son, Wolfgang Van Halen, and daughter-in-law, Andraia Allsop
Aside from her marriage to Vitale, Bertinelli previously wed rock star Eddie Van Halen in 1981. They share a son Wolfgang, 33.
Though the former couple divorced in 2007, they remained amicable and Bertinelli was by Van Halen's side when he died due to complications from throat cancer on Oct. 6, 2020.
Last month, Wolfgang made an appearance onstage at the 96th Academy Awards to play guitar alongside Guns N' Roses shredder Slash for Ryan Gosling's epic "I'm Just Ken" performance.
"I mean, people are going to get sick of it, but I don't care 'cause I'm so proud of him," Bertinelli told ET with a laugh in reference to constantly bragging about her son. "He's been through a lot of adversity throughout all of this, and I'm really proud of the way he's handled it."
Wolfgang and Andraia Allsop tied the knot last October in Los Angeles. As far as what's next for the happy couple, Bertinelli said she's not one to pressure them.
"I'm shush. I can't do that," she quipped. "I have to stop [being a] helicopter mom."
Bertinelli is currently promoting the release of her new cookbook, Indulge, out now.
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