AKRON, Ohio — Here’s something you might not know about the holidays. If someone is in an abusive relationship - the holidays often make it worse. Schedules, family commitments and financial stress can amplify the situation.
An while we often speak about physical, mental and emotional abuse, have you heard of pet abuse? It’s when a partner threatens to harm or take away your pet so they can continue to control you.
Melissa knows this experience firsthand. In fact, even the night before her wedding, she recalls that her friends tried to give her an “out.”
“[I told my friends I had to go through with it because] my parents paid all this money. All these people came out of town. It'll be okay.,” Melissa recalled. “It did not end okay.”
Melissa did marry her college boyfriend. She says the abuse started with him yelling and throwing things. And then, it escalated.
“He was on top of me punching me, and I went to a friend's house and was like, I'm ready. They did not move as quickly as I wanted, so I was like, it's okay, I'll go home. So I packed the dog up and went home and then it happened again,” she said. “He dragged me down the hall into our bathroom and strangled me over the tub, which he had done many times before. My fear was that eventually he wouldn't let go.”
She says that was the moment she knew she had to get out. But she couldn’t forget what happened every other time she attempted to leave, which would result in her husband threatening to take their dogs to the pound.
“That was a big fear. When I went to the cops, one of his comments was, why don't you just leave? And I said, I can't. I have animals.”
She was smart, she knew she needed to plan her escape, but leaving is the most dangerous time for a victim. Statistics show that’s when abuse situations most often turn deadly. Making things even more difficult, Melissa says in those moments she was being attacked, she knows even her dogs felt helpless.
“They were so afraid that they were never really around during those events,” she reflected. “They would just go hide.”
Melissa did leave. She’s had help from the Hope and Healing Survivor Resource Center in Akron, is in therapy and says she’s now living in freedom. But admits she still has memories that haunt her. And so do her pups.
"Now even my dog, I have a friend come over and kind of mess with him and he just sits there and just shakes. And I tell him why he does that. He's afraid still. Even a year and a half later, he's afraid,” Melissa said. “I feel like I did take a long time to get out, but the timing was perfect. I've been able to find who I am. I found my purpose, which I'm really sure that it's to help others because I will openly discuss this with anybody just in case somebody hears me."
In addition to pet abuse, Hope and Healing Survivor Resource Center CEO Teresa Stafford says that they’re also seeing increasing issues around reproductive abuse.
If you are experiencing crisis please call the Rape Crisis Center Hotline at 330.434.723 or Battered Women’s Shelter Hotline at 330.374.1111 They have advocates available 24 hours a day.
To contact the Hope and Healing Survivor Resource Center in Akron, click here or call 330.374.0740.