LAKEWOOD, Ohio — Today, Tony Kost is the lead bartender at Immigrant Son Brewery in Lakewood, and he’s been a recognizable face in Cleveland’s food and beverage scene for many years.
“I don't see it, but people tend to gravitate towards me behind the bar,” he told 3News anchor Dave Chudowsky in a recent interview.
And despite his modesty, for decades many of those people that knew him, saw him as the life of the party, not knowing the nightmare he was privately living.
"I know how lonely I felt as a guy that had a million friends for a long, long, long time. I felt very, very, very alone,” he recalled.
Growing up in Ohio City, Kost says he dove into a world of heavy drugs head-first in high school. Then came years drinking socially in his late teens and 20s, while climbing the ranks at iconic Cleveland restaurants like Lola, Crop and Momocho.
But a once manageable habit soon became a necessity.
“The drinking becomes kind of second-nature. It becomes a part of what you do. And before you know it, maybe like myself, you're 33 years old and you don't really have a whole lot to show for yourself outside of a bunch of cool stories,” Kost reflected. “And that's a sad thing. My path took me into a lot of really, really squandered opportunity. It took me into being a person that I was pretty ashamed of.”
Seven years ago, Kost says he hit his rock bottom -- not drinking alcohol because he enjoyed it -- but because he had to.
“If I didn't drink, I would start to shake. I would start to sweat. I would dry heave. I was sick visibly, physically sick.”
And after a day of heavy drinking while on the job, on Sept. 5, 2016, Kost woke up fearing for his life, and checked himself into Lakewood Hospital.
“I remember sitting there trying to fill [forms] out and I couldn't even remember what day it was,” Kost recalled. “I just started crying because I had, that was the first time I think I had actually had a realization of how bad my life had gotten.”
After a transfer to Lutheran Hospital, five days of medically supervised detox followed. Once he was released, Kost decided to commit to his sobriety, but ultimately did not follow a traditional path of recovery. Although his mother, Patricia Boehnen, had been active in Alcoholics Anonymous, Kost says he wanted to do things differently.
“AA changes lives. It’s saved lives, countless numbers of lives. But it wasn't something that I wanted to do for whatever reason. I wanted to find a strength in myself. I wanted to be able to fortify my defenses against my desire to drink on my own.”
His challenge was not just to stay sober -- but also to continue to work behind the bar, in an industry he’s always known and loved.
"I was really good at this line of work, even as a young maniac alcoholic party animal. I still accomplished a lot, and I had earned the respect of a lot of people,” he said. “And I didn't want to lose that.”
Ultimately, Kost says, some simple advice from his father, Frank, stuck with him during challenging times.
“He kind of looked at me and said, 'Well, son, if you're saying to the world, if you're saying to me, you're saying to your friends, most importantly saying to yourself that you're done drinking, then just don't drink.' He was right. I did just need to be stronger than it because there's alcohol everywhere.”
He also found comfort from a true companion along the way -- his bulldog, Oscar.
“Every morning I got up, he was there,” Kost reflected. “That little dude showed me love every single day.”
Now, Kost is offering that kind of support to others walking a similar path -- as co-chair of the Cleveland chapter of Ben’s Friends -- a nationwide community of hospitality workers struggling with substance abuse and addiction.
"The commonality is people in food and beverage who are immersed in an industry filled with drugs, alcohol and stress,” Kost explained. “And I can't even begin to tell you how connected I felt to the men and women in those meetings from the moment I started going to them because I felt like they understood me.”
Ben’s Friends was founded in 2016 by hospitality veterans Steve Palmer and Mickey Bakst after their friend and colleague, Ben Murray, took his life because of his addiction.
Kost has been co-leading the Cleveland chapter since it formed in 2023, and says it’s already deepened his commitment to his sobriety.
“Once I got involved with Ben's Friends, my sobriety got even more substantial. It got even more emboldened. I think it got even more. It got to a place where I wanted to do more with it.”
According to a recent survey from the American Addiction Centers, 17% of hospitality employees have a substance use disorder, the highest rate of any industry. But Kost wants others to know they don’t have to walk this journey alone.
“I think that if you're out there struggling, if you're able to sit there and acknowledge that you have a problem than you most likely do -- and it's probably worse than you actually realize. I would say that there, it's hard to understand how much support is actually out there.”
And now being recognized as a Game Changer, Kost says it humbles him to his core.
“I never, ever envisioned that I would make a mark on the world at all, let alone be making a mark on the world, even in the small little circle that I do it now to help people that are struggling, and the fact that anybody cares what I have to say means the world to me.
If you're interested in learning more about Ben's Friends, click HERE. If you're struggling with substance abuse, you can reach out to The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration and find additional resources by clicking here or calling 1-800-662-HELP (4357).