CLEVELAND — Well, a three-and-three record is not exactly where we had all hoped to be at this point in the season. I’m disappointed and it’s quite clear I’m not alone, but rather than pile on to the doom and gloom that I am very much feeling, I’ve decided to try to focus on something positive today instead. So let’s talk about the upcoming schedule.
Most would agree that the Browns have likely played the toughest matchups they’re going to face this season and all three of their losses were to very good teams. That’s why I’m personally excited to get into this next stretch of games in which we play five lesser teams that range in quality from “Not Very Good” all the way down to “Detroit Lions.”
With that in mind, here’s a quick preview of the easier road that lies ahead for The Cleveland Browns:
Week 7: DENVER Broncos: 3-3
Denver is three and three, but those three wins were against the Jets, Giants and Jaguars. I mean, sure you won, but is it really anything to celebrate Additionally, Browns secret weapon Pat Shurmur is their offensive coordinator, which can only help.
My prediction: Browns win on Thursday, 42-34.
Week 8: PITTSBURGH Steelers: 3-3
Hey, speaking of Pittsburgh, special thanks to the tired old bones of Ben Roethlisberger for deciding to play for another season, despite the fact that his body retired two years ago. Ben is now so immobile that just watching try to turn around feels like watching that swing bridge in The Flats slowly rotate when you’re late to get somewhere. Come on already! (Show bridge vid)
My prediction: Browns win an ugly game, 17-15. And I’ll take it!
WEEK 9: CINCINNATI Bengals: 4-2
There is only one team that the Browns will face over the next five games with a winning record, and it’s the Bengals. And one of those wins is against Detroit so...Unfortunately Joe Burrow does appear to be the real deal. Fortunately, his offensive line is not at all. They play Baltimore next week and assuming Burrow survives, and I hope he does, Myles Garrett and company will get to him early and often.
My prediction: Browns win, 24-18.
WEEK 10: New England Patriots: 2-4
The Patriots suffered their fourth home loss in a row to Dallas yesterday, as everyone’s favorite little ray of sunshine Bill Belichick continues his personal journey of learning what it’s like to coach a team that does NOT feature Tom Brady.
My prediction: The Browns will take advantage of this brief lapse in Patriot greatness to win 34-28.
WEEK 11: DETROIT LIONS: 0-6
This game represents the decadent dessert to be enjoyed at the end of the five-course feast of bad teams that the Browns are about to dine on. And Head Chef Jarod Goff has been outdoing himself in the kitchen lately.
There are only two teams in NFL history to go 0-16 in the regular season. One is the Lions and the other team escapes me for the moment, but based on how bad Detroit looks they may just outdo themselves by being the first to go 0-17.
My prediction: I look forward to the Browns supplying one of those historic losses when they defeat the Lions 27-6, improving their overall record to a very respectable 8-3.
And then, we play Baltimore twice in a row. Well, there’s no point in looking too far ahead.
So there ya have it, Browns fans. It’s been a rocky start so far but I do believe that brighter days await us all! Let us feast on the vulnerable and weak!
Stay strong Cleveland, and Go Browns!
*Editor's Note: The video in the player above is from a previous report.