ORANGE, Ohio — At the Wayner family home, memories are everywhere. Pictures, mementos, Halloween decorations — they were Phil's favorite.
"Phil was perfect. He was sweet and kind. He was, you know, our first, so he made us parents and really kind of changed our lives in that way by making us mom and dad," Phil's mom, Katie Wayner, said. "He loved tractors and trucks and construction and digging in the dirt, but I think his most favorite thing was yard work with my husband."
Phil loved his blue lawnmower; it's still here for his youngest brother Robby to use. Sadly, he is not.
"I remember in rounds the resident who confirmed that diagnosis to us crying as he just said, you know, what we did not want to hear," Katie shared.
What he shared was that 3-year-old Phil had B-cell acute lymphoblastic leukemia It's a common yet treatable pediatric cancer. The next few years were a roller coaster of both hope and heartbreak.
"He was just such a trooper," Phil's dad, Mike, said. "He just didn't ask questions. He never said, 'Why me?' He didn't really complain about him having to do something. He didn't want to."
After achieving remission in 2021, doctors again delivered bad news.
"It was a Friday afternoon at around 4 p.m.," Katie remembered. "Our oncologist called to tell us that they did find leukemia again."
They tried everything — different treatments and hospitals. The leukemia wouldn't respond. After exhausting all efforts, it was time for Phil to come home.
"He laughed and smiled and we made it as fun as we could make it, but it's not where he wanted to be or where he was supposed to be. So I think he was just ... he was just done too," Katie said of the heartbreaking decision. "So we brought him home the end of August, Aug. 22 (2022). And we were home for ... we had 10 days with him, together."
Those last days were filled with joy.
"We're extremely grateful that Phil felt well enough to enjoy things. He did all of his favorite things here. He played with his brothers, he played on our playground," Katie said. "Actually, the Saturday before he passed, he was putting on a putting green at a golf course and whacking balls in the driving range."
The gift of being together and living by Phil's motto.
"Phil had a saying of 'Who cares?' So those 10 days, we just lived as 'Who cares?'" Mike said. "Like, 'Do what you want. We're going do what we all want to do,' and we're just, 'Who cares what we do for how many days we have?'"
For the Wayner family, it's about not sweating the small stuff. If you get your hands dirty, Who cares? Playing with Halloween decorations five minutes before school? Who cares?
The Wayners are choosing to honor their son by volunteering for Light the Night. They want to help other families just like them.
"I think, you know, finding some good out of all of this has been healing for our hearts," Katie said. "We're continuing Phil's story, continuing his legacy for him, you know? He can't fight anymore, but we can, and that feels really good as his mom."
His dad agrees.
"People want to be like Phil," Mike concurred. "I mean, he was only 5. Knowing that people still think about him and want to be like him even though he's not here anymore, it just makes our hearts full.
Who cares? We all do, Phil, because of you.
On Oct. 7, the family is hosting "Phil's Ultimate Golf Outing" to raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and their Dare to Dream Project. For more information, or to sponsor this event, email: PhilsUltimateGolfOuting@gmail.com.
For more information on Light the Night, click HERE.
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