CANTON, Ohio — Ellen Gray was described as the sun by those who loved her, someone who was bubbly and happy all the time, the kind of person who lit up a room when she walked in, someone others seemed to orbit around.
According to her parents Don and Suzy Deitemyer, growing up, Ellen constantly had friends around. She was a talented tennis player, serving as captain her senior year of high school. After graduation, it was onto Bowling Green State University, returning back home to North Canton after completing her studies. Don and Suzy also recalled her being very involved in the community, especially in the North Canton Chamber of Commerce.
Ryan Gray, Ellen’s husband, said it was her desire to have fun that drew him to her, their relationship starting in the early 2000s, tying the knot in 2004.
“She liked to enjoy life and have fun, but she made it a point to make sure that everybody around her was doing the same,” he said. “It wasn’t all just about her having fun, it was about being inclusive with the folks around her.”
But Ellens’ life was cut short when in 2007, at just 29 years old, she passed away from cancer, after melanoma that was first detected on her head in 2006 spread to other parts of her body.
While her family and loved ones were left to mourn the unthinkable loss, they were also determined to keep Ellen’s legacy alive, and educate others on the importance of skin cancer awareness and practicing safe habits to protect your skin.
Ryan remembers the moment in 2006 when he and Ellen were sitting on the couch in the family room of their North Canton home, the home where Ellen had grown up. She asked him to take a look at something she felt on the top of her head.
“I stood up behind her and I was horrified immediately," Ryan said. "It was a lesion, about the size of a dime, and it looked bad."
Ellen made an appointment to see a doctor, and ultimately, the family learned it was melanoma, which her doctor believed had been there for about a year.
“It was a shock,” Suzy said. “We always thought that she would get better.”
The Cleveland Clinic calls melanoma the most "invasive" skin cancer. According to its website, melanoma carries the "highest risk of death," though it is "highly curable if caught early." Ellen's family went on to learn the dangers of melanoma and the ways it differs from other skin cancers.
“Melanoma, as the plastic surgeon explained, it actually starts flat and then its tentacles go into and through the layers of skin into your bloodstream where basal cells and some of the other ones more stay on the surface,” Don said. “And that's why melanoma is so, so dangerous compared to the other forms of skin cancer. And it just progressed a little bit too far by the time they found it.”
Ellen and her family never gave up in her fight against cancer. From seeking treatment locally in Northeast Ohio, they went to Duke in North Carolina, where she was able to participate in an experimental program. But despite their best efforts, they didn't see the results they were hoping for.
“Eventually, the radiation was a little bit too much for her to handle. The disease had spread,” Ryan said. “It was getting to the point where none of that was having a positive effect.”
Ultimately, in what Ryan described as a last-ditch effort, they went to a facility in Philadelphia, where Ellen passed away.
During her treatment, her family said Ellen worked to raise awareness for skin cancer prevention and detection. She even shared her experience in a piece in national publication Glamour Magazine.
“Education was on her mind almost immediately,” Ryan said. “She immediately started thinking about how she can affect other people through her experience.”
They began working closely with the North Canton Medical Foundation, which had a cancer relief fund. The family worked together to raise money to provide wigs, gas cards, gift certificates, and other items for cancer patients.
During her treatment, Ryan introduced Ellen to painting. Coming from an art background himself, Ryan recalled laying out a canvas for Ellen, and she began crafting splatter paint creations. Some of her pieces were sold at fundraisers benefiting the cancer relief fund, others sit proudly in Suzy's living room today.
Ryan, Don and Suzy, and those who supported Ellen, like Dr. John Humphrey, executive director of the North Canton Medical Foundation, continue to keep Ellen’s mission going. Through the creation of Ellen’s Effort, their fundraising efforts, and Love Your Skin Stark County, designed to focus on education, they’re working to help protect others.
Dr. Humphrey shared that he is particularly concerned about the risks associated with tanning salons, and their locations near schools, such as college campuses.
“It’s really tragic because, in the main, it is a totally preventable fatal disease, just totally preventable,” said Dr. Humphrey. “That is why we have so vigorously supported the efforts of Love Your Skin Stark County and the efforts of her parents and her husband. It’s been one of passion for us at the foundation.”
Dr. Humphrey said Love Your Skin Stark County has been a community-wide effort, one that the foundation is proud to be part of.
“I feel it was Ellen's wish to do this,” Suzy said. “And that's why it's important to carry this on, even though sometimes it's a little bit hard, difficult, it's very important, and I want to honor her wish.”
Through their efforts, they have provided sunblock at local pools and summer camps, they’ve given out three local art scholarships, and have brought together doctors to conduct skin checks at Kent State’s Stark Campus. Ryan said getting through to young people is important.
“It's a tough sell, it's difficult to tell younger generations that tan is skin damage. Going to tanning beds is damaging your skin,” Ryan said, sharing that both he and Ellen went to tanning salons in the past. “We're just trying to make, especially younger generations, aware that that is a risk. You are taking a risk by tanning, by not using sunscreen, by not covering your skin, but also that, and that's kind of where the love of your skin comes in, loving your skin as it is.”
"It's amazing - the passion and dedication they have to her legacy,” said Dr. Humphrey of Don, Suzy, and Ryan’s work. “It's beyond the ordinary, they have made it a purpose to help prevent the tragedy for other families."
Years have passed since Ellen’s passing, and Ryan has since remarried and opened a brewery. He and his wife both continue to work closely with Don and Suzy to keep Ellen’s message front and center. Her community remembers her as well; according to Don, the North Canton Chamber of Commerce named their volunteer of the year award after Ellen.
Forced to put Love Your Skin Stark County on hold during the pandemic, they are reintroducing the effort to the community through an event on May 5th from 5 p.m. to 9 p.m. at the corner of Cleveland Ave. NW and 6th Street in Canton, complete with food trucks, which will donate a portion of sales back to Love Your Skin Stark County.
“It would feel like a pretty big failure if we didn't try to keep her legacy alive,” Ryan said. “If we didn't try to keep that alive, it would feel like we would fail her pretty badly. And I don't think that was in anybody's constitution to allow that to happen.”
Read more about skin cancer from Cleveland Clinic here
More from 3News' Isabel Lawrence:
EDITOR'S NOTE: The video above previously aired on 3News on April 23, 2023.