BEACHWOOD, Ohio — The yahrzeit candle that sits atop Susan Borison's mantle burns in memory of the lives taken on October 7th. It's been a challenging year. One, that still hurts as deeply as the day it happened.
"Today is so loaded on so many levels. Like it's so hard to figure out what are you grieving. It's really hard to figure out what you're hopeful about. And it's just a rough day. Really rough," Susan said.
That's because the situation isn't over and her loved ones in Israel are still fighting to stay alive.
"I have two sister-in-laws and a sister, and my brother's daughter lives in Israel," Susan said. "Tel Aviv, they spent three different times going into safe rooms today."
For her loved ones, it's an every day reality, and something that was hard for Susan to process on her trip to Israel back in January.
"We saw the Nova exhibit, which was in Tel Aviv at the time," Susan said. "I really took two steps over to tents that they had replicated of people who had been murdered, and messages that people loved ones had put by the tent. And it gutted me."
It's difficult to grasp that such terror happened in a homeland with deep connection to the Jewish faith.
"So when you've only heard about it and you've only read about it and you've never been there, you still feel connected. And so these stories, they're not someone else's story. Every single one of them is our story," Susan said. "My niece said, 'I'm feeling heavy and heartbroken. I wish I could say hopeful, but hope feels a bit far away today.'"
For the first time in her life, Susan says she's experienced anti-Semitism and fear for her safety. While, she says the loss of life on either side is beyond tragic, she doesn't want people to forget what happened.
"I also have this feeling that we're losing the storyline ... that scares me a lot," Susan said.
Yet, she's finding small comfort in the strength of the Israeli people.
"The Israeli people are ... they recover. They, I don't wanna say move on because it's such a horrible thing, but they rebuild, they rebuild in a way that you cannot believe it. You can't imagine how it can be done," Susan said. "There's resilience. And resilience is hope. You don't have resilience if you don't have hope."
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