CLEVELAND — 2020 has hardly begun and yet somehow, I have already discovered several new things that bother me.
I'm going to address some of them now -- in a little segment we like to call "No Thanks."
Blossom Music Center - Cleveland's super-convenient concert venue that I believe is actually closer geographically to Buffalo than to Cleveland - just released it's summer concert lineup.
Unsurprisingly, it's primarily pop country and Matchbox 20.
But they also have one of those shows where they cram a bunch of old cheesy bands from my Dad's youth onto one bill.
In this case Foreigner, Kansas, and Europe on July 29th.
And I always thought those bills were pretty hilarious, until I saw that there's also a show this summer at Jacobs Pavilion that features The Barenaked Ladies, The Gin Blossoms, and Toad The Wet Sprocket.
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And I was like, 'Wait a minute. Those are cheesy old bands from my youth. That's not how this works.'
No Thanks.
Another No Thanks to all of the local women on social media who insist on objectifying our comely new Browns coach, Kevin Stefanski.
For shame ladies.
I remember a simpler time when we men had a lockdown on egregious superficiality.
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Well all I can say is, enjoy it now. Because we'll see how good this guy looks after the emotional wear and tear of working in the Browns organization.
My football team ages men like the presidency. In fact, we had the boys in the lab use our advanced WKYC technology to cook up an image of how bad Stefanski is likely to look after just one year of coaching here.
Check it out.
And finally, No Thanks to the upcoming Game Of Thrones-themed bar crawl that will be winding it's way through 7 different bars in Tremont on February 1st.
The now sold-out event encourages participants to dress up and cosplay as their favorite characters from the famous HBO fantasy series.
Don't get me wrong, I like a good bar crawl as much as the next fella. But here's something that I know I've never said out loud at any of them: "Hey, you know what this bar crawl needs? More swords."
Seems like that's pretty destined to become an issue, probably around bar 5.
So if anyone from Metro happens to be watching this, be forewarned, you are the closest hospital to Tremont, so you might want to consider staffing up the ER that evening. Because it's pretty safe to say, that winter is coming.
And those are my No Thanks for this week.